Disenchanted
by MissJJD
Summary: ADA Rafael Barba asked Lt Olivia Benson if she was disenchanted with him, was she? Story takes place at the end of Sanctuary, a tiny little AU in as much as Chief Dodds does not come in with the news of the fire bomb.


**It would appear that I cannot get these two out of my head at the moment. This really is just a little one shot which came to me in the sunshine. It's a Barson story so if you don't like them don't read it.**

 **As always I apologise for any errors whatever they might be and as always I hope that you enjoy it.**

Olivia Benson opened the laptop she had only just closed in readiness to leave. In the search area she typed two words…... "Disenchanted meaning"….

She knew exactly what the word meant, of course she did, she just wondered what Google or Collins had to say about it. Disappointed, disillusioned, they both told her, reiterating what she already knew. Was she either of things with ADA Rafael Barba? Maybe part of her was, the principled, upstanding police officer was, but that same ethical, honourable police office was also certain and delighted they had got the right result for the Samra family, another witness had gone on to prove that. Another little part of the SVU detective, a part with a very loud and very persistent voice was also pointing out, that she herself had gone to her friend, the ADA, on more than one occasion and asked him, not to bend things, but perhaps misshape them for her, when things weren't always as black white as the seemed, circumnavigate an issue, when things weren't as clear cut as they first appeared. Always for the greater good and always for a victim.

She clicked on disillusion, finding out that reality did not match your ideals. Failing to meet expectations. Olivia all but growled at the screen. In all honesty, she couldn't attribute one word of that to Barba. When she'd first met the man, who went on to become ADA for Manhattan SVU, she'd felt certain the reality of him was not going to meet her ideals. She couldn't have been more wrong. Failing to meet her expectations, that was laughable. He had more than surpassed them, and then some at just about every turn and on every level. Even personally, when she had needed him the most he had always been there. Oh, they'd butted heads numerous times, but always fighting for what they believed in and always for the victims. Even on this occasion, and this time rightly or wrongly it was Barba who was fighting the hardest and not necessarily the cleanest.

She scrolled down a bit further. Disappointed, failing to meet hopes, let down, prevent fulfilment and frustration. Olivia struck off a few more definitions, well two anyway. As with her expectations, the sharp tongued and equally sharply dressed attorney had more than surpassed her hopes. As for letting her down, not in any sense of the word, personally or professionally, even if at times she knew, he felt he had.

Preventing fulfilment and frustration, now they were more difficult to strike off the list, but that was purely on a personal level and something Olivia Benson didn't like to dwell on or admit to anyone, least of all herself.

She could still see his handsome dejected face as she'd declined his offer of a celebratory cocktail. Watched his shoulders slump just a little and his beautiful green eyes cloud with rejection at her words. Again, she looked at the last three words on the screen before slamming it shut and leaving her office. Preventing fulfilment, frustration.

He'd mentioned a celebratory cocktail, that usually only meant one place for Rafael Barba, but would he still go there alone? Olivia wasn't sure, but there was only one way to find out. As almost expected she found the ADA Forlini's on Baxter Street. His jacket was hanging on the back of a stool and the man himself was swirling what looked like an Old Fashioned around in a glass. It was reasonably quiet and Mike the bartender looked up and smiled, greeting Olivia.

"The usual Lieutenant?" He asked amiably.

Barba looked towards the sound of her voice, his demeanour cheering visibly.

"No Mike, not tonight, I'd like you to make me a cocktail."

"Sure thing, what'll it be?" He grabbed a shiny silver shaker from the shelf.

"Now there's the thing Mike, you need to be creative. I'll tell you what it needs to have."

She put her own jacket on the back of the stool next to Barba and sat down. The bartender grinning broadly at her unexpected request. He didn't usual make cocktails on request, but for these two regulars' he'd happily make an exception.

"Tall or short glass Lieutenant?"

Liv cast a sidelong look at Barba, smiling playfully.

"Something in between I think."

Mike reached up for a highball glass and set down on the counter.

"Ice?"

"On this occasion yes…..crushed."

"Okay." He put some cubes in the small machine and crushed them before adding them to the waiting glass.

"It needs to be colourful, but not so as it resembles anything else. To counter than initial coldness of the ice, it needs to have a soothing and warming effect. It has to have plenty of sass and a real kick to it. And it must be one of those drinks where you are just left wondering."

The tall young bartender took in all of Liv's instructions, realising that they were really about the drink. He said nothing, bartenders could be very wise men.

"You changed your mind." Barba said quietly over the rim of his heavy tumbler.

"Obviously, I did Counsellor." Liv retorted her big brown eyes switching between Barba and the cocktail shaker.

"Why?" He asked, the heavy chunks of ice in his drink, chinking against the glass.

"I hit Google."

Well that wasn't the answer that he'd been expecting, a little of his drink went down the wrong way, causing him to splutter.

"Okay" he said through a cough.

Mike put the extremely colourful cocktail on a small matt in front of Olivia, it certainly didn't resemble anything she seen before. It was a purplish pink colour, which ironically put her in mind of a pair of Barba's brightly coloured suspenders. Miraculously it had lemon stripes running through it. How the hell he had done that, Olivia had no idea. She raised the mid height glass to her lips and took a long slow sip. It did everything she had asked. First, she was struck by how cold it seemed, then gradually she began to feel it's warmth. She smiled and winked at Mike as he left her with the drink and went to serve another customer.

Having recovered from his coughing fit, Barba was watching her intently. He had of course heard her instructions to the young barman and realised in no uncertain terms the drink and its requisites were directed at him. He was in some ways flattered, but still none the wiser why Olivia Benson had changed her mind and was now sharing a cocktail with him. He was sure even in this wondrous age of modern technology Google had not suggested she go have a drink with Barba.

Olivia drained her glass, rather quickly, Mike was there in a flash with more crushed ice and the remainder of the colourful concoction in the shaker which he sieved into the glass, giving it those miraculous stripes. She thanked him and once again he was gone to another customer. She was certainly feeling the soothing warmth, the biting sass and then the kick.

"I Googled disenchanted."

Her lips suddenly felt a little numb, considering she'd had the ADA in mind when she had been creating the cocktail, she wondered if he'd have a similar effect? Crap! What the hell had Mike put in this thing?

Barba was a little perplexed, it was hardly a word outside of Olivia Benson's comprehension.

"Okay" he said again, his voice laced with even more confusion than before.

"I wanted a second opinion" She said, this time taking a much smaller sip of the clearly rather potent cocktail.

"I am not disenchanted with you Rafael; how could I possibly be? Especially after everything that came to light and how things turned out. Even Dodds came to see me. He told me there was no right or wrong about whichever decision I made."

She paused taking another small sip. Barba remained silent.

"And let's face it, you know as well as I do, the shoe could easily have been on the other foot and has been."

She looked at him earnestly, those expressive green eyes of his fixed intently on her.

He was intrigued and admittedly he was a little bit amused, as well as being inordinately flattered by her heartfelt words. This wasn't how he'd expected his evening to go especially not after she turned down his offer of a drink.

"Disillusioned, disappointed, they were the words that Google gave me. Failing to meet hopes and expectations, ideals not meeting reality, letting down, that's what it said. Never in a million years Rafael, never."

The always eloquent, seldom at a loss for words ADA found himself precisely that, feeling an unexpected lump in his throat, which had nothing to do with the ice and a burning sensation which had nothing to do with the alcohol.

She gave him a bright smile, her eyes twinkling with emotion. His heart beat rapidly in his chest.

"But it also said…"

Those big chocolate brown eyes came up slowly to meet his limpid green.

"Failing to meet fulfilment and frustration."

Her hand came to cover his, those eyes of hers now sparkling with a very different kind of emotion. He knew instinctively she was no longer talking about being disenchanted.

"And you think I am guilty of those Liv?

He asked slowly and carefully, making sure he was reading this situation right. He took her hand in his.

"I think Rafael, we both are."

Barba continued to look deeply into those beautiful and very sincere brown eyes, his voice catching slightly as he spoke.

"I don't want you to be disenchanted, disillusioned or disappointed with me in any sense of the words Liv."

She gave him an almost shy but knowing smile, and slipped her jacket back on. Barba did the same as he settled the cheque.

Mike asked Olivia if she'd enjoyed her cocktail. She looked at Barba as she replied, assuring the young barman, that it was everything she had expected it to be, and then some.


End file.
